Sunday, June 5, 2011

Why It's Important to Connect

We joined many families last week at the Council for Adoptable Children (COAC) camping trip in Lake Whitney. 

We spent 3 days with approximately 100 people. We had family meals, craft time, hiking (visualize Ben with the children- and me back at the shelter laying in front of the fan reading The Pioneer Woman's love story)
What can I say? We live in Texas, and it was HOT! You would sweat sitting still. That part was horrible. Okay, back to the fun times... we also made s'mores by the campfire, and connected with other families that have adopted children through the foster care system. Most of the families there had more than 2 children, and some of those families were single moms. Bless them! We felt like lightweights being around such large families.

There are so many rewards and challenges that come with parenting children that have been abused and/or neglected. Most of us have struggled with the decision to medicate or not, many appointments that interfere work schedules, battling working with the school district to identify and provide resources to a child in need, parenting children that have difficulty trusting and loving you as a parent, children that have difficulty developing & maintaining friendships, and strained marriages. This decision is not for the weak!

You are probably wondering after reading those possible challenges... why would anyone do this? Because this child and these children did not ask to come into this world, they had no choice about the decisions their biological parents/caregivers made, and they have a right to be loved and reared as any planned child and family with resources would rear a child. To have a child call you "Mom", after you have worked so hard to connect, is one of the best feelings in the world. To see a child enjoy and thrive in school, when you know they would probably not have had the same educational opportunities, warms my heart. To learn how to forgive your children when they make a bad decision, to teach them the way you want them to think/talk/do, and to know you will have to repeat the lesson over and over again will make you become the best teacher in the world. To learn how to advocate for your child's needs will push you to become the strongest person in the world. We will be wearing superhero costumes to ARD's from now on~

Maybe not, but the visualization of such event makes me smile. I say all of the time how I feel my children have taught me more than a graduate degree and employment in a child development field. I know that I am a better person b/c they are in my life. Thankfully, I have a partner-in-crime to bail me out when I fail. I would not be able to parent this way without my supportive husband (a.k.a the Green Hornet)
Notice the superhero theme??? 

Most people have struggles and/or unique challenges with parenting or trying to become parents. Parenting twins is unique. Struggling with infertility is unique. You get the point. During these times, it is nice to find a group that connects you to other families that understand what your life might be like. We seek this out in our family. I need it! I need to know I am not crazy. I need to hear about resources, strategies, and struggles. This helps me connect. This keeps me growing in becoming the parent my children deserve. 

If you are interested in learning more about fostering and/or adoption, visit Texas Adoption Exchange Resource. Check out the children awaiting forever families.

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